Posts by Lady Lee

posted

11
Ahh, Mother's
by teenyuck in
1. jw
2. experiences
ahh, mothers.

reading jozb5s thread on her mother made me think of this.

i recently told my husband and he is even more disgusted with my mother.
Lady Lee

PuffsRule - the similarities are uncanny. My younger sister left when she was 15 - got into drugs and a whloe mess of bad stuff. She decided if she couldn't be a perfectly good JW she be a perfectly bad anything else. My mother told me I was her only hope for people to know she was a good mother. Yeah right 1 out of 5 and from the age of 9 - 16 I only lived with her for 1 year. I think maybe that is what saved me. Lord knows what I would be like if I had lived with her all those years like the others did.
This whole idea of forgiveness is so unhealthy I think. People need to do 2 things to be forgive - repent and stop doing it. My mother doesn't even acknowledge what happened. In her mind she has rewritten history. She thinks we had a good life and doesn't see how she used all of us to get her needs met.
I am very proud now that I am not like either one of my parents. She was the totally self-involved narcissist and my father was the sociopath. I guess compared to him she did look better. My father never said he loved us. She did and would do things that made us think she did. But it was always to get what she wanted. It left me with a very sick idea of what love was. Add to that the sick idea of WT love and it is no wonder I had so many problems by the time I left
A person's ability to recover is phenomenal. I know I still have issues. But they are small in comparison to what I used to deal with. I am no longer depressed and live an abuse free life.
It feels so good
11
Ahh, Mother's
by teenyuck in
1. jw
2. experiences
ahh, mothers.

reading jozb5s thread on her mother made me think of this.

i recently told my husband and he is even more disgusted with my mother.
Lady Lee

Puffs rule I still think our mothers must have been sisters
My mother always said "You need a good man to take care of you" Problem was she got hooked up with 3 men who all were pedophiles.
I finally realized that my mother is sick. I would never even consider doing that to my girls. She was always dating men - all of them non-JWs. One week she had 3 marriage proposals and one of those was from a married brother in the hall. She thought she was such a catch.
I spent most of my life looking up to her and thinking she was so strong. I wanted to be just like her. I think I went along with so much because I was so desperate for her to love me.
A few years ago a friend of mine asked if my mother suffered from narcissism. I had never considered that my mother was menatally ill. We all knew how sick my father was but all believed she was the sane parent. Well I did some research and she fits the criteria in all the details. Recognizing that helped me a lot. I felt less like I was the crazy one. It took me until I was in my early 40's to see this but I am glad I did.
I'm sad there are a few of us here that have had mother's like this. At the same time is is good to know I am not alone. And neither of you seem crazy so hopefully I'm not either :)
6
How Dare You
by Wolfgirl in
1. watchtower
2. child-abuse
how dare you.

how dare you.

how dare you.
Lady Lee

Wolfgirl that is so good - sad but powerful
The betrayal is something I find the hardest to deal with.
Thank you ignored_one
Lady Lee
7
Control me. - Lady Lee
by Lady Lee in
1. social
2. entertainment
what to feel,.

tell me what to say.. to save me,.

protect me,.
Lady Lee

Thank you all
Joy not much action on the board - I just got back from vacation though - had a great time
22
chaperones
by restorebeauty in
1. social
2. relationships
when you all were dating jws, did you have to have a chaperone everytime you went out?

did you always adhere to this rule?

how did you get around it without getting caught?.
Lady Lee

yup always had a chaperone although I think we only went out once that I can remember - other times was always in a group
and no we never avoided it - I hardly knew him and didn't want him touching me
it was an arranged marriage
Edited by - Lady Lee on 8 August 2002 19:9:29
32
Excluded. How did/does exclusion make you feel?
by Celtic in
1. jw
2. friends
many of you have felt at the sharp end, quite particularly so, social exclusion.

emotionally, how did it make you feel?

celtic mark - cornwall uk
Lady Lee

shocked stunned
depressed alone
shamed bad sinner
numb
depressed angry
more numb
didn't want to think about it
then angry and more anry
finally relieved - like who cares - not me cuz I'm free
9
My Mother
by jozb5 in
1. jw
2. experiences
this is a continuance of what i related under the weird jw dude topic.. when this happened i think i was about 20 or 21 (1985 or '86), before i married my first husband.

i was living at home and still attending meeting but i had stopped studying when i was 19. i guess my mom felt it was time for me to settle down (i was not dating anyone - how could i?

i wasn't baptised.
Lady Lee

OMG Josie My mother tried to match me up with a few brothers too. She would get me dressed up in a skin tight outfit and take me to other halls and assemblies and arrange meetings for me with these men. Most were in their 30's or 40's and clearly had mental problems I was 16-17 at the time. It was horrible to be marketed like that.
Finally a young man came into the congregation who was only 2 years older than me. Although I didn't really like him him I agreed to marry him. He thought he won some kind of door prize. We were married 32 years ago today - and one week after he was baptized.
It lasted 15 years and I was soooo outta there
Lady Lee
7
Control me. - Lady Lee
by Lady Lee in
1. social
2. entertainment
what to feel,.

tell me what to say.. to save me,.

protect me,.
Lady Lee

Thank you Spaznik
20
Mental illness forget the statistics count who you
by rekless in
1. jw
2. friends
satistics can be flexed to represent anything you want.. personally i know of out of a congregation of 89 .

my daughter & son in law who is an elder, three elders wives , publishers 4. another daughter that refused to accept the witness life style.

my wife just before she died had to be on prozac.
Lady Lee
My problem with this is that there is no operational definition of mental illness.
People who take medications?
People who need meds but won't go to the dr.?
People who need meds but have been diagnosed but refuse to take their meds?
People whose behavior we define as odd/unacceptable?
I was depressed the whole time I was a JW. No one knew. I never went to a Dr. I was never prescribed medication. But I was so sick and hid it very well. People were shocked when I told them after 20 years of knowing some of them.
2
Honor the children - Lady Lee
by Lady Lee in
1. watchtower
2. child-abuse
honor the children .

so many children.

over so many years.
Lady Lee

Thank you Dutchie